So little time

Yipes! I just need to collect some of my thoughts here...

Craig's birthday has come and gone, Easter has come and gone, and another weeks is almost through and I don't have any pictures to show that these events took place. The camera battery died and I forgot to charge it. But I do have tons of pictures hidden on my camera. I think I need to download them all and reformat my memory card. I seriously think I have pictures from Thanksgiving on the card that I never downloaded and shared.

I've just been so busy and so tired. I think the months on end of waking numerous times at night has finally taken its toll on me and I'm exhausted. I honestly don't mind waking in the middle of the night to nurse Madeline, but she went back to waking every three hours for a while there. She didn't even wake that much when we first brought her home! Wow. She's started solid foods, but that didn't help her sleep any longer (not that I'm all surprised by that). It's amazing to me how much emphasis is put on sleeping through the night. Madeline is breastfed so I know she is going to wake up. I have gotten to the point of letting her try to put herself back to sleep. She sometimes cries, sometimes whimpers, sometimes peeps and most of the time puts herself back to sleep. It's not really crying it out, it's just me waiting to see if she really needs me. I can tell. There's a difference in her "I'm-annoyed-and-want-to-be-picked-up-but-I-am so-sleepy-cry" and her, "PICK-ME-UP-NOW-cry."

Madeline also gagged and literally spit out her rice cereal with my breast milk the other day. I laughed out loud and then tasted the cereal. I gagged, too. Once upon a time I really wanted to pump and give her a bottle. Madeline didn't really like them so I continued to nurse exclusively. I thought my milk stash had spoiled because it tasted metallicy, so I painfully threw out the entire stash. I didn't bother counting the ounces, but I imagine it was close to 200 or more. I used to pump a lot. When she started cereal, I wanted it to have a little more nutrients so I started pumping out 4-6 ounces every morning when I had more milk. She would happily eat her cereal in the morning but I did notice the evening meal was a bit more interesting. I just figured the whole solids thing would take some getting used to. Fast forward a week or so and the gagging reflex started. While I thought it was hilarious, I also knew there was something wrong with that batch of milk. It wasn't the first time my milk tasted like pennies - all the frozen stuff always had that flavor, but the fresh (as-in JUST pumped) milk didn't. I called lactation support and it confirmed what I already suspected. Apparently, I produce too much lipase and it makes my milk taste awful shortly after being expressed. It takes less than a day for my milk to take on a horrible taste, whether it is frozen or stored in the fridge. Madeline now happily eats her cereal with water. I could scald it, but I don't see the point in that. It's time consuming. I am also not going to pump before every cereal feeding. She gets enough of my milk.

I placed an ad on Craigslist yesterday to give away our old cat tower. I know I could have sold it and made some money, but I honestly thought it was a good idea to "donate" it (I say donate because we did give it away for free, but we didn't have to drive it anywhere to drop it off). I had probably 20 inquiries in a half hour for the thing. Lots of people wanted to see more pictures, but the camera battery was d-e-a-d and I wasn't going to take it off the charger to take a picture of it. I described the tower and found an older picture of it. It was free, take it or leave it. I was honest and said that one of the cats used it as a scratching post and that $20 in supplies could make it better than new. I had contemplated covering the worn areas with sisal or rope, but Craig came home with a new tower in December that he got for a complete steal ($50, seriously, a huge steal for a 6 foot tall cat tower). Someone said that they would take it sight unseen and I responded that they could come home after Craig got home (I won't do Craigslist business alone, Craig will ALWAYS be here). Immediately after that, a cat shelter asked me about it and I wanted to let them have it, but I didn't think it was fair. In the end, three kitties will have a happy new place to play and I'm glad it's out of the garage. We just didn't have the room for two towers and the new one holds both cats. The old one held one at a time - or at least the cats would only get on it one at a time. It had a great life and will continue to do so :-)

We're thinking of getting new couches. My old set is awful. The cushions are deteriorating and the cats have torn them to shreds. I'm concerned about bringing in new couches. What a wonderful new scratching post! Foil, citrus sprays, sticky tape...any other ideas for you cat lovers who also think declawing the critters is absolutely inhumane?

Our neighbors had another baby and our monitors were crossing signals. Unfortunately, their monitor won, despite the fact that we have the SAME monitor. I literally saw BOTH of their babies and could not hear or see Madeline. Calls to Summer Infant were made and I ordered a $50 upgrade to the monitor. I basically have a digital monitor and the neighbors have an analog monitor. The monitor sucks. It's awful. It has this clicking sound, the picture is grainy and the audio is screeching. I can't tell if Madeline is crying or cooing half the time. I'm still in the monitor battle with Summer Infant but we may have a solution in place. Maybe. It stinks because the first monitor really was amazing, ya know, before I couldn't see/hear Madeline.

This is long. I'm not proofing it. Forgive any errors.

(inserted after-the-fact, so this is really an update).

It's also good to note that Madeline now throws a fit when:
a) taking a bath. One night she just cried throughout the entire bath and it's been pretty much awful since that night. She tries to eat her wash cloth, tries to climb out of the tub and when we don't allow her to do these things, she lets us know her displeasure. So, now her baths get her all riled up before bed instead of calming her down. Which brings me to her other newest thing
b) she hates having her diaper changed. I give her toys, take my time, let her exercise some of her own will, but in the end, I need to change a diaper. She HATES it. She screams, cries, kicks, rolls over, arches her back, practically falls off the changing table, thumps her head behind the changing table pad, pushes off the diapers and wipes, removes the burp cloth I keep there, knocks off her socks and makes her body so rigid that she is so difficult to control. I know she's still delicate and while I am stronger, I could very easily hurt her by forcing her to stay down. I've about had it with diaper changes and I'm about to put cloth diapering on hold so I don't have to change her as often throughout the day. I have always changed her once she has gotten wet and I don't let her stay wet for long. The exception to this is when we're in the car and I can't change her (and at night, but I do still change her diaper in the middle of the night and she's completely fine). But now? Harumph. She just may win this battle because I can't handle her when it's time to change the ol' diaper. I wish she would just cry and scream through it and let me do my business. But no, she is ALL. OVER. THE. PLACE.

Hopefully, she'll outgrow these two very unfortunate habits soon.