The path to lemonade, part II

If you haven't read part I, I'd do so before reading the below post, otherwise you'll be confused.

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... I shared my lost scholarship story with my church's choir and orchestra. I had been playing with them since before I had accepted Christ and felt a love I'd never felt before. Here was this teenager who would come to church, at times alone, play in the orchestra and stay there for longer than I should have because it was a wonderful place to be. I still have a special place in my heart for that choir and orchestra. My family had not been regular church goers and I don't think my parents were Christians yet. If they were, it was new to them too and we didn't really talk about it. I absolutely loved orchestra practice - not because of the music - but because of the people. My love for them swelled even more when one day we got a knock on our door and some members of the choir were there to give me a check. To this day, I still don't know if someone went to the church and said I had a need or if the choir and orchestra passed around a collection plate for me, but I was given $1,000 from them. I was stunned. Shortly after, a man who sang in the choir gave me an additional $500. He told me to not tell anyone outside my immediate family because he didn't want the credit. He said the Lord told him to help me out and that he was simply following His will. When I was speechless and didn't know how to thank him, he said that if there was ever an opportunity for me to return this blessing, that I should do so.

Let me pause the story for a bit here. In the first part of the story, I indicated that I had the desire to go to college and that desire trumps money. What words cannot communicate is how defeated I was when I lost the music scholarship and my desire was crushed. I almost didn't see the point in going to college. It became obvious to me that I shouldn't go. When I got these two checks, they meant more to me than the money. People who I didn't really know that well believed in me. It's normal for a parent or other family member to believe in you and I got that support, but to have people outside my family show their belief in me with the money touched my heart in ways I cannot express. I leaned on this throughout my college career. I wanted to earn my degree so badly, but when I had struggles and my debt seemed to pile up, I would honestly press on because I didn't want to let the people down that believed in me. I couldn't bear to show my face in the church - specifically the choir and orchestra room - if I had given up. What that money did to my confidence and dedication towards finishing college superceeds any monetary value I could have ever been given. I wish there was a way I could tell them all how much they blessed me. But as Mr. S told me when he handed me his check, the best way of showing my appreciation is to pass it on one day.

Things were starting to look up. My mom stormed the financial aid office's doors and I was awarded a Christ Is Our Salvation loan from a very big Baylor donor. It was a loan, but it was an interest-free loan. With the combined gifts from the church, the new loan and my federal aid, I was, once again, Baylor Bound! It wasn't the way I thought it was going to be, but it was working out.

I was a Baylor Bear! I had a great roommate with matching bedspreads. I immediately got busy with my degree. It was completely normal for me to leave for my 8 am class and not return back until after dark. I thought that was normal. I studied and worked hard, and well, I didn't do so hot. I failed my first class my first semester in college. I guarantee it wasn't for lack of effort or work. I took too many classes and didn't realize how busy I'd be as a music major. My 15 hour course load quickly added up to about 40 hours a week in class - and that didn't include my practicing. Clarinet lessons was two hours credit but I were in class for at least four hours a week. Band/chamber rehearsals were three hours credit but I was in class for more than 10 hours a week. I didn't know I was going to be in class that much! When everything was said and done, I ended up with a 2.76 GPA for the first semester and one of my Baylor scholarships was now in jeopardy. Lovely.

With a semester behind me and many more ahead, I decided to take a break from music - I didn't officially change my major because I knew from previous experience what a headache that could be! I did still take a few music classes to hopes of earning a minor in music but I worked more on my basics. The Spring semester, I learned that I didn't need to have a meal plan because of the dorm I lived in, so I canceled it and saved the money. My wonderful roommate Katie would bring me fruit from the dining hall and tolerated a very full dorm-size fridge of my food. She also said she wanted to take clarinet lessons from me. I thought it was a little strange that someone would want to learn clarinet at 19 years old, but I totally agreed to teach her. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that she wanted to help me out, so she hired me to be her lesson teacher. All I can say is, Katie - you rock.

Since I now had a normal college schedule, I got to know the girls in my dorm and I remember someone asking me if I was a Spring transfer student. That is how little I was actually in the dorm that first semester. Since I was around more, I met a girl who was in Air Force ROTC. Melinda took the time to answer my questions about the program and told me to talk to one of the officers at the detachment. I knew ROTC gave scholarships and I needed money to start my sophomore year, so set up an appointment to meet with the admissions officer.

To be completely honest, I didn't know anything about the military. I knew they worked out and that the air force flew planes, but that's about it. I'd see the blue uniforms around campus and didn't really pay attention. I was honest with the admissions officer when I said that I just wanted money. Captain Skalnik probably thought I was a selfish loon and he quickly pointed out that music majors - since that was technically still my major - aren't in demand for the air force. He said if I changed my major to engineering that he could probably get me a scholarship, otherwise, I could join the program anyway and just not get money. I wouldn't have any commitment to the military by trying out ROTC, so I gave it a shot. I signed up for Aerospace Studies classes for my sophomore year and also decided to go back to music.

On a very positive note, I had a pen pal of sorts my entire freshman year. I would regularly get cards with money inside. It was usually $20 and there was no return address. I still have no idea who this person was and didn't recognize the handwriting. The post mark was from my hometown, so I assumed it was someone from the church, but I never really knew. I would take $2 from every $20 bill I got and put it in a white envelope to give back to the church. I was too embarrassed to simply put $2 in the collection plate so I put it in an envelope. I look back at my innocent heart and fall in love with that young girl. I was a new Christian - maybe a few years old - and my heart was truly pure. I remember thinking to myself that I got to keep $18 and it was more money than I had before opening my mailbox. On more than one occasion I would get more than $20 and each time it seemed to coincide with a bill I had to pay. I vividly remember getting an invoice for a piece of music I ordered and in the same bath of mail was the cherished handwriting I looked forward to seeing on an envelope. Inside was the exact amount I needed to cover my music bill. It gives me goosebumps just thinking about it. This mystery person was a reminder that God was taking care of me. I still have every single card I received from this person and it still serves as a beautiful reminder of His provision.

The Spring semester ended and I walked away with a 3.71 GPA and a cumulative of almost a 3.0. Since I showed significant improvement, I got to keep my Baylor scholarship.

A year of college down and I was a little more than $5,000 in debt. Quick math and I was going to walk away with more than $25,000 in debt since music was a five year degree. If I continued down this path, half of my loans would be interest-free, but it was still a lot of debt. I pressed onward and upward and started my sophomore year in ROTC...