The path to lemonade

I've been thinking lately at how I ended up where I am. Growing up, I thought I would be a teacher, have a husband and kids, and a yard with a dog. I've been blessed with some of this, but the journey to this point is absolutely nothing like I would have ever imagined. I wrote down my journey and the absolute divine intervention it took to get to the place where I am. Believe me, it was not my doing. I just walked down a path - sometimes obedient and sometimes not. It's in multiple parts because it's long and I doubt anyone would be able to sit in a seat long enough to read it. I know you all have kids and pets and husbands to tend to :-)

I apologize in advance for the cliff hangers. It's more fun that way :-)

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It started with applying for college scholarships. I didn't have the money to go to college but I had the desire. Desire trumps money every time and I wasn't going to let money stand in the way of me earning a diploma. I wanted to go to Baylor University. I don't know why. I knew they had a great music school and I just wanted to go. I trotted to the high school counselor assigned to me by my last name and sat down for advice. I remember being told that I needed to make sure my parents filed their income taxes on time and that they filled out the FAFSA. Then, she showed me a filing cabinet of scholarship applications filed by deadline date. I visited that filing cabinet nearly every week and it was my goal to fill out 1-2 applications a week. If there were online scholarship databases, I was completely ignorant of them because my family certainly didn't have and Internet connection. I used our old computer and dot matrix printer to typed up and print my scholarship essays, poems, paragraphs, prompts, short stories and narratives. The first round of scholarships required a lot of time, but once I had an arsenal of stories, etc. to choose from, I'd just make a few changes (and sometimes none at all), add in my high school transcript and mail it off.

I remember the day I got my Baylor acceptance letter in the mail. It was surreal. I probably checked the mail daily awaiting its arrival. I knew from my countless scholarship denial letters, that a small envelope was a bad thing. But my Baylor letter came in a big envelope. I ripped open the letter and read "Congratulations..." and didn't hardly read any further. I remember I jumped up and down in the street.

I had been accepted.

Also included in the envelope was a convenient financial aid break down. Student fees, room and board costs and ... tuition. My heart sank. I, admittedly, didn't know much about money, but I knew that was a big number. I had been awarded a few small scholarships, but nothing significant and certainly not enough to pay for Baylor. My new Christian heart knew God would provide. Eventually, the little scholarships began to add up and I was encouraged. Better yet, I was awarded a four-year, $10,000 Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo scholarship - that was $2500 a year! Then, I auditioned for the Baylor School of Music and Dr. Shanley, the clarinet professor and also chair of the woodwind department (thus the key to the budget) offered me a music scholarship for $4,000 a year, for five years (and I was told it would most certainly go up once I was a junior). When everything was added up, I almost had my first year at Baylor completely covered. With the federal student aid and Stafford loans, the difference was more than made up and I was on my way to Baylor! I could not believe it!

When I had originally applied to Baylor, I had put on my admissions application that I wanted to be an education major with an emphasis in music. Basically, a music education major. There was only one problem. That was an education major and not a music major. In order to get the music scholarship, I had to be a music major. My little mistake could have cost me my scholarship! Dr. Shanley called me to let me know that I needed to change my major in the Baylor systems in order to receive the scholarship and get it through financial aid. I got on the phone and changed my major, but to be sure I also sent a letter. Phew! No worries! When it was time to enroll for classes, I was again informed that my major was in education with an emphasis in music and not a music education major. My mom and I sat in front of the computer with the registration person and we both watched as my major was changed from education to music. Again, tragedy averted. I went about the rest of the summer excited and scared to be going off to college. Baylor Bound, Baby!

I got another call from Dr. Shanley a couple of weeks prior to me going to Baylor and he asked me if I still wanted to be a music major. Confused, I replied that I did. My giant course load of music classes should have indicated that. He asked why I didn't change my major to music. I told him that I did. I told him that I watched as it was changed in the computer system. He then proceeded to tell me that since I was still an education major that he could not give me the scholarship. That he didn't want to lose the money, so he offered it to another student who was a music major. But I had an award letter! And I HAD changed my major! But it was too late. Someone else had been awarded the money. The money was gone.

To say that I was crushed is an understatement. I remember tears and pain and confusion. I only had a couple weeks left before going to Baylor and I honestly didn't know what to do. The Stafford loan was only approved for so much and I was more than upset about trying to find another loan. I didn't want to start out life with extraordinary debt hanging over my head.

It was a computer error. A $4,000 a year, or $20,000 computer error. Baylor's IT infrastructure wasn't networked so when one computer changed my major it didn't change it in all the systems. When my mom and I watched my major get changed, it was only on that computer and not the network. My phone call confirming that I changed it didn't go through the network and my letter was probably lost in the masses of letters Baylor gets.

I didn't know where I was going to come up with $4,000 in a couple of weeks. I honestly didn't know what I was going to do...