Let's pick back up where I left off, shall we?
To review, go here.
---
So Craig had asked me to be his girlfriend. What I didn't understand at this point was that he was fully-prepared to ask me to marry him. He wasn't ready yet, but he had pretty much planned on it happening. While my personal life was rocking and rolling, my professional life was quickly unraveling at the seams.
Sometime during my last semester teaching ROTC, I was observed by the southwest region commander. It was just part of his job and I knew it was coming. I apparently left an impression on him and he ranked me the number one instructor in the southwest region. There are some things I am good at (and even more things I am not good at) and one of my strengths is teaching. I loved teaching at the college level because it required me to stay sharp. I also threw out the rule book and poured my life into my classes. The ROTC curriculum was written by military officers, not academic professionals and it was painfully obvious. But man, I really did love what I was doing. My students certainly asked difficult questions and there were times when I didn't know the answer - and I even loved those times because my classes were real and my students were eager. My commander asked that my ranking be highlighted in my file and that it was also mentioned that I was competing against first lieutenants through full-bird colonel. Deep down inside, I knew that it was an extraordinary long shot for me to make it through the board, but adding this information couldn't hurt.
I remember my students made me feel quite special at my last Military Ball. They pitched in and framed a photo of our class and all signed the mat. I was honest with them and while I didn't want to deter them from joining the military. I did - and still do - think this it is one of the most honorable professions and just because I was being handed the short stick, didn't mean I should give them the impression that it isn't worth it. But I wasn't going to sugar coat things for them either. It was my responsibility to be honest with them. There are good and bad things with every job and many of my students were attracted to the air force in part to the fact that there is job security. They watched me go through the Force Shaping and the job security selling point lost a lot of its attractiveness. I informed them the best I knew how and told them that things will most certainly change in the three to four years it would take for them to graduate and enter the air force.
The air force was originally going to announce the results of the Force Shaping board after I had pinned on captain, but they got done with their job early and about a week prior to me pinning on captain, I got a call.
I don't remember the exact date, but it was almost four years to the day that I had raised my right hand and said the commissioning oath from memory - no cue cards and no stopping. It was still early in the morning and a general officer called my office and uttered the words, "Lieutenant Taylor, I'm sorry to inform you that you were not selected for retention."
That was it. Because I was geographically separated from my home base in Alabama, I got a phone call. The killer to me is that I had never met the man. He had never met me, actually worked with me or spoken to me prior to this phone call. I can't say that the news was a surprise, but I was still holding on to some hope. But I really did know the answer before my phone rang. While I am very optimistic, I could also see the writing on the wall. I was a public affairs officer who wasn't currently in the public affairs field. I wasn't even at a base. I was in ROTC instructor. I just wasn't good enough for the cut. In reality, the board had a very difficult job. Comparing lieutenants to each other was like comparing a Gala apple to a Golden Delicious. They're both apples, maybe one is sweeter or makes better applesauce, but at the end of the day, they're both apples. The board was comparing apples to apples and I think it was a tough job. A stupid, tough job.
Pinning on captain was bitter-sweet. My commander wanted to make a big deal out of it and I stressed that I did not. It just didn't mean the same thing to me anymore, so one afternoon he pinned on my rank and the office shook my hand. They all knew, so they respected my decision to not make a big deal out of it. I don't even think I sewed my new rank on all my uniforms. I was only going to be wearing the uniform for four months before I wouldn't need them anymore. The pay raise was super nice and I pocketed $700 more a month, which I promptly saved because I didn't know if I was going to have a job.
Since I wasn't going to remain at the detachment, I wanted to throw a party for my students. But I had more than 50 students, so I threw an ice cream party. We had all the toppings you could ever want and the majority of my students came over. They were sad I wouldn't be coming back and I was sad that I wasn't going to continue the journey with them.
I also think it's important to mention that the retention of my freshman class was huge. Giant. I'm not going to take all the credit because I know it wasn't just me that inspired them to continue with the program. But at the same time, I was the one active duty officer that interacted with them the most. My door was always open and I had cadets in my office all the time. They talked to me about military stuff, but also financial troubles (Baylor is not cheap), job choices, personal struggles and more. I never claimed to be a counselor but the transition to college that first year is difficult and they were throwing in ROTC on top of it all. I made sure I was there for my students. And in the end, about 50% of my original freshman class got commissioned. From my experience, that's a huge retention rate. Heck, 20% is a great retention rate!
And because it's funny, I'd like to point out that the air force assigned me field training duty that summer. They wanted me to train a class of future officers at the air force's version of boot camp. It's an intense training that would have required me to wake up every morning around 3 am and go to bed around midnight. I totally defied the order and said I was not going to do it. I informed my commander that I needed to take care of my needs for once - out-processing from the military isn't a fast process, espeically when you are not stationed at your base - and since the air force was obviously not going to take care of me, I didn't think I needed to go. He totally agreed and some other poor officer had to take my place. hahaha.
No comments:
Post a Comment