For the love of poop

I want to share a snippet from one of my mornings this week, but first, some background.

Madeline apparently needs her calories, or at least that's what the pediatrician said when I told her Madeline's used-to-be regular self, wasn't so regular. What I mean to say is that she rarely pooped anymore. This is a good and bad thing. Good thing is that we don't go through wipes and I don't have the change poopy diapers everyday. Bad thing is that when she does poop, holy moly. She usually soils at least part of her outfit, whether she's in a disposable or cloth diaper. It's phenomenal what a baby's diaper looks like after 9 days without a BM. It's something to behold.

So, the other morning, I was wondering if I was going to find her a mess. It had been about 4 days, which is her new normal and it's usually a morning surprise. Well, she hadn't pooped yet, but she did let go while nursing. I cleaned her up and was going to plop her down on a blanket in the study so I could start work. Hutch, our orange kitty, somehow ingests my hair. I don't know how he does this, but a long strand of hair doesn't digest through his system, so it comes out - along with his poop. It's hilarious to watch him jump out of the litter box freaking out and frantically trying to dislodge the hair strand poop. Yes, he wipes his rear on the carpet. Yes, it's gross. But he doesn't intend to do it and it doesn't happen all that often. Unfortunately, Madeline's blanket became victim to this hair poop. I picked up the blanket and threw it in the wash.

I went downstairs and was going to plop her down on a blanket there, and discovered more poop. Starsky, our gray rebel kitty, had pooped on her blanket down there. This is the second time he's done this and it's getting us VERY angry. We weren't sure which kitty was making a statement until this morning. Hutch is the only goober that eats my hair, thus I knew he had just emptied his bowels. Starsky was the culprit. A very tidy pile of poo was on her blanket. I would address how bad this is for the cat, but this is really a funny story, so we'll keep it light.

I picked up a toy from inside her swing and plopped her in the poop-less pack n play. My barefoot stepped in something cold and wet on the wood floor near the swing. No, I didn't step in more poop, rather I stepped in cat vomit. I'm totally not kidding. It was as if my morning was the beginning sequence of a comedy movie about a tired mom and her days.

I cleaned up all the poop and vomit. Stray poop and cat hairballs are just part of being a pet owner, and I really don't mind. The making-a-statement pile infuriates me. The cats avoid Madeline's things 95% of the time. So this is definitely a statement.

OK, feel free to laugh at me. I know it's funny.