9.14.2010

A year ago today

I went into labor. I was more than ready to have the baby on the outside and not on the inside anymore seeing as my due date had come and gone. I remember thinking that I was going to meet Madeline that day and honestly didn't think it would be a 27-hour ordeal. But come she did, in her own way and in God's timing.

I think back at what I was going through a year ago today and while I do remember being in tremendous pain, I don't remember what the pain felt like. I remember it being a long labor, but I don't remember each minute passing so slowly that I couldn't handle it. I remember being exhausted, throwing up and a whole slew of other "bad" things, but I admit that I really don't remember the details.

However, I also remember my husband being a rock.

I remember when I felt like giving up, God renewed me over and over again.

I remember it being a joyous day.

I remember having faith.

I remember the excitement in knowing that I was about to become a mother.

I remember hearing her cries as she breathed her first breath.
I remember the tears in Craig's eyes as he said, "She's here!"
I remember seeing the midwife tear up as Madeline's face was brought close to mine for the first time and I uttered my first words to my daughter, "You have no idea how much you are loved."

I remember being so thankful that she was out!

I remember how much she looked like Craig!

I remember what it felt like to hold her for the first time.
I've come to realize that I was able to do a pretty amazing thing, and I don't just mean the end-state of Madeline coming out. The process to get her out was amazing, too. But what amazes me even more is the past year. Experiencing how quickly a baby develops and learns new things is phenomenal. I saw a tiny baby the other day and it was difficult for me to remember Madeline being that small and helpless.

Becoming a parent has made me realize quite a few things. Craig mentions frequently that God loves us the way we love Madeline. In fact, He loves us more...and He loves her more. God sees us as the helpless babe that we really are. Our stubbornness (ahem, especially mine) makes us (me) feel like I can do so many things, when in reality it's not us (me) at all. So while the Lord blessed Craig and me beyond anything I could ever imagine by giving us Madeline, she really belongs to Him. He loves her more than I ever could.

So today, as I am ever so grateful to be experiencing a totally different day than I did a year ago, I remember God's love.

1 comment:

Thoughts by B and M said...

I love reading your blog! It's such an encouragement! Happy Birthday Madeline! :)