NICU update - day 5

Well, today has been uneventful. I like uneventful, and honestly, that is the way the rest of Gabe's NICU stay should be.

Breathe in, breathe out.

I had a nurse tell me today our stay is minor. While I recognize she sees much, much worse on a daily basis, I wouldn't call this minor. This is major to me. I go home every night without my son. There's an empty bassinet next to my bed where a baby is supposed to sleep by my side at night. But, I also know that while we had a rocky few days, it could be much, much worse. We have so much to be grateful for. It didn't take me long to realize the further down the NICU corridor, the sicker the babies got. I refuse to walk down there. Gabe started in the middle and has since move a bay or two closer to the exit.

The only lingering issue with Gabe is his jaundice and it went down over the past two days. Wow. Days 0-3 of life were scary and days 4-5 of life were fairly uneventful. Such a difference!

Stop reading right now and thank God with me.

And thank you so much for your prayers!!! I was emotionally stressed because Gabe wasn't nursing well. He's fighting a bacterial infection and on antibiotics - he doesn't feel well and was a sleepy baby. Nursing takes time and milk letdown reflexes aren't instant. I'm sure he was just as frustrated as I was with the whole situation. But today we had a breakthrough! From the beginning, he was rooting and eager to get milk from me, versus my milk from a bottle. In fact, he nursed so well, he didn't get "topped off" with 10-20 cc's of milk - not even once today! The NICU staff knew I was intent on nursing and not pumping and bottle feeding if possible, so they assigned a lactation consultant to be Gabe's NICU nurse. She was fabulous and I attribute Gabe's turnaround to her. He's probably feeling better, too, because he's showing quite a personality now :-) I call him my dinosaur baby because he screeches and wails. And I love it. When little man is hungry, he is hungry! Before, he would latch (rather when Jeri would get him to latch), he would suck for maybe 5 minutes and then be out cold. I could not do anything to rouse him. I was in misery because I was so full and the pump wouldn't extract the milk and he wasn't giving me relief. But we kept at it and today was perfect. In addition, I'm pumping a milk store for him while he's in the NICU and to use overnight. It is good timing because I think I am going to step away from the NICU tomorrow and spend some much-needed time with Madeline. She came to the hospital tonight and was craving Craig and me. She needs an afternoon with her mama and daddy. So tomorrow, instead of being here for 5 of Gabe's 8 feedings, I'm going to skip one and get some Madeline time in. I miss my big kid so, so, so, so much!

And because I've literally been living at the hospital, I'm also going to skip his 9 PM feeding Tuesday night and Craig and I are going to small group. They are an incredible support and I want good, long hugs from each of them. While Gabe is still my number one priority, I still need to have a balance. I haven't eaten a meal outside the hospital since Monday. Taking care of myself is also taking care of Gabe.

So, there is a lot to be thankful for. Keep praying for the other NICU babies and their parents. Keep praying for the progress we've been having. And if my math is correct, we are half way through with his NICU stay! It is all downhill from here. So say a huge prayer of thanks with me - I know I'm saying a huge prayer of thanks for all of you.