The wimpy white boy

They call it the wimpy white boy syndrome.

I've heard it more than a few times since I started living in the NICU with my son.

Statistically, white boys fare the worst in the NICU. Black girls fare the best. Who knows why, but Gabe has been labeled because he's white. White boys don't fight. White boys are weak. White boys die more. But here's what I know:

My son is a fighter.

My son is not weak.

And my son is going to live.

Group B Strep is the leading cause of newborn/infant death - I've been told up to 50%. This is a nasty bacterial infection that can strike quickly and leave a baby with either lifelong disabilities such as cerebral palsy, mental retardation, blindness or other impairments, or leave them dead - within hours of birth. I learned that a newborn admitted to the NICU is automatically treated for GBS because by the time blood/spinal cultures grow the bacteria, it is too late. The baby has died. Even with swift treatment, the bacteria passes through the blood/brain barrier and attacks the brain and can be devastating. GBS is latent in adults and older children, but a quick killer to a newborn. The NICU nurses that I've spoken to say it is the worst infection because it is so swift and strong. The nurses who have been around for more than 20 years have shared stories of a time when GBS left incubators empty very fast. The babies just died and the parents weren't discharged with a baby in the NICU, the were discharged with a baby in the morgue. The fact that I was tested and it came back negative and he still got it is rare. Even more rare is the fact that the chance for infection increases as time ticks away after your water breaks in labor. My water broke 24 minutes before Gabe was born.

He's not a wimpy white boy.

I have to force my mind to not play the "what if" game. Craig was concerned with Gabe's breathing and I wasn't as concerned. There was no reason for me to be. I am so grateful Craig was concerned and alerted our nurse. I'm so grateful that the nursery staff quickly said this was out of their hands and that Gabe needed to be in the NICU immediately. I'm so grateful Craig and I didn't fall asleep. I couldn't for some reason and when Gabe started fussing I tried to nurse. I thought he had gas or was just hungry. Boy were my instincts wrong. But I can't go there. God was in control and things are going to be fine.

He's not a wimpy white boy.

Someone asked on Facebook if he was going to Baylor or West Point. It got me thinking about Gabe's future. He's not a wimpy white boy. At a week old, he's thriving in spite of GBS attacking his body. He's beating the odds. God has something incredible planned for my son. And He chose me to be his mother.

I, for one, cannot wait to see how his life unfolds. The sky is his limit. May he grow into a Christ following man and turn to God for strength. We named Gabriel after Craig's mother, but I looked up Gabriel and it means, "God is my might."

He's not a wimpy white boy.

There's no wimpy white boy when God is your might.